Stimulation Addiction and Emotional Eating: Written January 26, 2012

I don't drink, don't smoke. What do I do, Adam Ant? Well, I'll tell you. I eat sweets. Way too many sweets. Yes, I am a goody, goody two shoes (Google it, kids under 40). But my addiction to chocolate and cookies comes from the same place someone else's addiction to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, shopping, "Angry Birds," life-risking behavior, or pornography comes from. We're medicating pain, boredom, sadness, stress and frustration with these substances and experiences. 

Here are some science words that I stole from people who understand what they mean: amygdala, nucleus accumbens, ventral tegmental area, cerebellum, pituitary gland. These are the primary parts of the brain impacted by pleasure. More science words: opiates, dopamine, endorphins, serotonin, theobromin and phenylethalamine. These are some of the lovely hormones and neurotransmitters released in the brain that make us feel happiness and pleasure. The "reward circuit" in our brains causes us to want to repeat the actions that caused the pleasure. This can be anything from eating decadent foods to drinking alcohol to having sex to laughing to exercising to doing drugs to looking at Facebook. I'm grouping all these things and other activities that trigger the pleasure center of the brain into the category of "stimulation." Bottom line IMHO: We are addicted to being stimulated. 

What I know about addiction is that it's stronger than will power. The foods that I'm addicted to - sugar and chocolate - release opiates and dopamine. When I'm doing a boring task (like housework or bills), or when I've just fought with a loved one, or when I'm working against a deadline, the quick fix I get from popping a cookie (or five) into my mouth overpowers the script in my head ("A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips!"). My mom doesn't get this ("Sweets are for kids!") in the same way many of us don't get why people ruin their lives with cocaine. Why would you DO that? Because the decision is not made with your head. Well, it is, but not from the thinking part. Hormones take over - just like they do when pregnant women scream at husbands that they have to have steak NOW, even though they're vegetarians.

So stop beating yourself up for not having will power, and start doing the *real* work. You can't just stop being addicted. You have to find out what's behind the addiction, find healthy ways to experience pleasure, get support, figure out your triggers, and learn how to manage and sit with negative emotions. Most importantly, you have to love yourself enough to give yourself the gift of health and healing. This one is tough for many of us who don't believe we're worthy of love, let alone our own love! I'm working through a fantastic book on just this issue: A Course in Weight Loss: 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever. Marianne Williamson guides you through exercises, meditations, and journaling aimed at healing yourself and replacing your dysfunctional relationship with food with a healthy one. 

If food is not your thing, there is a book for you, and a therapist, and a 12-step program. Lots of resources. All you have to do is decide it's time to get the help. When you're ready, you'll know. And then I wish you the best of luck. Go with God, my friends.